So Damn Beautiful
by CadaverBlue
Summary: Post-Bloodlines GSR Song Fic, Polaroid's "So Damn Beautiful". What if Sara was drinking because of Grissom? What will Grissom think of Sara now? Grisson POV...more or less.


**Title: So Damn Beautiful**

**Author: CadaverBlue**

**Rating: G**

**Summary: GSR Song Fic, _Polaroid's 'So Damn Beautiful'_. What if Sara _was_ drinking because of Grissom? What will Grissom think of Sara now? Grissom's POV...more or less.**

**Spoilers: Bloodlines **

**Disclaimer: Although I want to bind and gag Jerry Bruckheimer and own CSI, I'm no psycho and so I won't. So therefore I don't own CSI. **

**A/N: This is my first song fic so bear with me. I know it's a tad late for a post Bloodlines FF but this song was so perfect. I couldn't pass it up**. **R&R!**

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_What do you think of me? _

_Are you quite proud of this make believe_

The past weeks seemed to come together that night; everything seemed to make sense to Grissom. The way Sara tried with all her might to avoid him. They way she looked at him with hurt in her eyes, if and when she did look him in the eye. Grissom suddenly realized that over the past few weeks, Sara had slipped away from him. Her laughs had been few; the rosy glow in her cheeks no longer there, and there was something so vacant in her once deep brown eyes.

_The come down that hangs around everything _

_You can admire in that girl_

_She's so damn beautiful_

He realized that everything that he was once drawn to in her was suddenly gone. The way she saved that special smile for him. The way she would stare straight through him, her eyes full of wonder. Her dedication, the way she took her job to heart. Her heart.

_What do you see in me? _

_Are you quite proud of this make believe_

But what did I give to her? Hurt. Pain. I turned away from her and then she turned from me. I couldn't open myself to her. I am a coward. How could she possibly still want anything to do with me? I don't blame her for any of this. I blame myself.

_The feelin' that hangs around everything _

_You once admired in that girl_

_You're so damn beautiful_

Sitting on that bench next to Sara made Grissom's heart ache. Her stoic stare focused on some imaginary object in front of her. Deep down inside he knew why she why did it. Why she was drinking. Grissom could not bring himself to admit it, even though he knew the truth. That all the times he said no and he pushed her aside had caused Sara to do this. To become someone other than herself, to change from the wonderful woman he once knew to who she had become. I don't want her to hurt anymore; I don't want to hurt her anymore.

"Come on, let's get you home."

Sara's hand was so cold; frosty like her stare. Her blood ran cold, cold for me. I want to make her warm again, laugh again, smile again, love again. Sara again.

_I will see you rise again I will feel you fly again_

_You're so wonderful_

_I will be there by your side_

_You're so wonderful _

_I will be there by your side_

_You're so damn beautiful_

So many unspoken words. These words that piled up on a bookshelf in the back of Grissom's mind, filed under unspoken. I want to tell her that I am so sorry. Tell her that I never meant to hurt her, never meant to make her cry. I'm ready to tell her, now that I've seen what I've done.

_You're so damn beautiful_

Sara's apartment was as cold as her emotions. With the blinds drawn, the light from the busy streets was flooding in through the slats. A hazy glow filled the small room and reflected off the coffee table that sat in front of a small love seat. Sara barely moved when Grissom put his hand on her back and eased her over to the sofa. I know she doesn't want to talk, she has barely looked at me, but I just want to make sure everything is ok. What am I thinking? Or course everything is NOT ok.

"Sara?"

_I see before the race you've run_

_And jump ahead too far_

_Your laughing eye again_

Sara looked at Grissom in the soft light of the night and he could see her sadness, her confusion, and the hurt in her eyes. A tear ran down Sara's cheek and for the first time in a long time Grissom witnessed emotion from her. She had out done herself, worked too hard, ran herself into the ground. She fell hard. She came to me, but I was blind.

"I'm here now."

_You're so damn beautiful_

Sara wept into Grissoms shoulder. He reached his hand around her and held her close. Grissom savored this moment, for the first time he could actually feel what Sara was feeling. Time passed and Sara raised her head and looked at Grissom, with the same stare as before. This time her mascara had smeared and her eyes were puffy, leaving evidence of emotion. He pulled her into a hug and felt closer to her than ever before. For the first time in a long time he realized, she was beautiful.

_You're so damn beautiful_

_Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful_


End file.
